Reviewed by Joan Connor
Posted on: July 22, 2025
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Dr. Shadle has written a memoir to “break the silence surrounding religious choices.” She originally desired “to document my experiences primarily for my family.” However, her writings have taken her on a journey of questioning her fundamentalist belief system, her subsequent acceptance of atheism, and her desire to “share my journey more widely.”
Shadle was raised within a conservative Presbyterian church. She received her BA from the College of Wooster and a Masters from Union Theological Seminary, NYC. As an adult she earned a PhD in Interpersonal Communication. Several chapter headings relate chronologically her developing years from “Walking to Sunday School,” “Doubt Set In,” “My Dream Job,” and “Building a Christian Home” to “Life Changes” and “At Last, An Identity.”
During college days, Shadle was ambitious and pursued studying abroad while “keeping in mind my interest in theology.” Her religious scholarship continued throughout as she obtained her Director of Religious Education degree, questioning and seeking understanding of Biblical theories and stories.
“Writing is a powerful tool for introspection and self-discovery,” she articulates as she writes to a boyfriend during her Presbyterian Church’s Junior Year Abroad, University of Geneva in Switzerland (1961-1962). Her strict fundamental belief system was challenged during this time as she “befriended people whom I respected but who had different beliefs or expressed commonly held values in different ways.”
The career path of Dr. Shadle is explicitly detailed within the book. She is employed by various universities setting up continuing education programs, utilizing her expertise in effective communications programming and conflict resolution. She recognizes at this juncture in her journey that her decision making is “void of religious consideration. Now my life was framed in higher education.”
Knowing Dr. Shadle’s final decision, I was eager to arrive at Chapter 14, “Does God Exist?” Would I learn of Dr. Shadle’s rejection of Biblical truths, Biblical stories, and Jesus? She reads, she seeks, she ponders, she concludes that “I did not think I needed belief in God or spirituality to solve problems.” She is curious and continues to “keep on reading. Reading helped me to find ideas and beliefs with which I identified.”
The memoir continues as Dr. Shadle determines, “reason increasingly became the predominant strategy guiding my decision-making.” At no point within this book do I question my personal spiritual belief system. I find the myriad of texts she studies to be interesting and spend many moments flipping pages to her extensive bibliography for details on her book choices.
Dr. Shadle emits strength and thought-provoking wisdom throughout this memoir. If one cannot identify with her final decision, one can relate to the struggles she documents growing up in a family where beliefs are black and white, theology is not discussed, and literal Biblical interpretation is primary and not questioned.
This review would not be complete without mentioning Dr. Shadle’s social justice strengths. I could only admire her attitudes and actions regarding accepting DEIJ (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Justice). She is a warrior for DEIJ, effectively working within her retirement community programming and guiding residents to feel included and valued.
Dr. Shadle’s personal journey deserves respect and I admire her in-depth seeking. The copyediting needs to be addressed if a second printing is planned. Too often mistakes interrupted the flow.
Within Chapter 14 the author remarks, “When I see a beautiful sunset, I no longer thank God. God is not there to hear me.” I can only repeat what Martin Thielen, DoubtersParish.com, comments, as he and Dr. Shadle (and I too) “have arrived at different spiritual destinations.” This memoir lends itself to great discussions.
