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May 18 – Infusing Hope

May 16, 2022 by Melanie

When I arrived for my first chemotherapy treatment, my pulse was 121. It probably went higher as I waited for my doctor to review my bloodwork. Soon, I was heading upstairs to the infusion suite. I walked into a room where I saw maybe 25 seafoam green reclining chairs with IV poles standing silently by, waiting for their next patient. A few of the chairs were taken.

I took a seat in the corner. My husband took the guest chair next to it. A nurse came by explaining what to expect and the layout of the suite. The refrigerator was around the corner to the left, the microwave was for anyone, there was coffee and they also provided snacks in a basket on the counter. Once I was hooked up, I was free to wander around.

“Just don’t leave” she added with a smile. I can always appreciate a good sense of humor.

They started with several layers of anti-nausea medicine and then I started on Taxol, the first of two powerful anti-cancer drugs. Dripping slowly from the bag hooked at the top of the pole and making its way through the tubing at a programmed rate, the drug took three long hours. Then, I had Carboplatin for another hour. They are so strong that they cannot be infused at the same time.

My diagnosis was endometrial cancer. They had performed a full hysterectomy only six weeks prior, and at that time, my surgeon classified it as a stage 3/grade 3 cancer.

As I waited, I watched healthy women arrive and sit down next to good friends. They were stopping by to show love and support. I looked at the patients themselves. Some had hair, some did not. Some slept and some looked withdrawn. A few faces were turned towards the television, but I’m not sure they were listening. One young woman gave me a small smile when she could see that it was my first time. I felt a sudden connection with her.

“I am with them now,” I thought.

I listened to the electronics on the IV poles beep steadily, mine included. These alerts were either triggered by an air bubble, a malfunction or simply indicated that the bag was empty. A nurse would walk over, flip a switch, hit a button, and either the drip resumed or they hung the next bag, waiting off to the side. Before this morning, I had known nothing about oncology nurses and now they are my heroes.

I hear a final, welcome beep and Diane disconnects me and helps me get up and my husband helps me outside. It’s January so it’s getting dark as we head to the car. I’m feeling exhausted, but I feel something else; something good.  I got through my first chemo treatment.  I have a sense of what that means now. And I am reassured that I can do it.

This post was first published on Melanie's blog, Leaving The Door Open at https://leavingthedooropen.com/2020/01/30/my-first-day-in-the-infusion-suite/

Melanie McGauran started free-lance writing in suburban Chicago covering topics like cloning, heart disease and her “Day in the Life” series. She also worked at Legacy.com where they manage newspaper obituaries around the world.  After moving to Florida’s Space Coast, she started a blog focusing on her aging mother. The blog has now shifted to memoir. She's been published in Literary Mama, Illinois Parks & Recreation, The Rotarian and Story Circle Network's 2022 "Real Women Write" Anthology.

Filed Under: Melanie McGauran, True Words from Real Women

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