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May 11 – How Deep is the Ocean

May 11, 2023 by Carol Newman

Dipping a toe into the ocean of prices, room dimensions, and meal plans wasn’t going to be the solution to selecting a retirement community. Those things are important, but there was something else, something unmeasurable. Personality. Each retirement community had its own personality. I needed to dive into the deep water of community personality.

Would I fit where there was a car entrance gatehouse with a guard? Or a community with a soaring lobby like an upscale big city hotel where I felt small and unimportant? Would I like to live where the halls were empty of people as was the front desk? 

A library? Yes, I liked that. But two of the chummy library volunteer residents wore sweatshirts printed with the name of their granddaughter’s exclusive private school. We smiled and moved on. 

How did I like the carpet that looked like it was from a 1980s movie theatre? 

How about someplace where the limited activity schedule was the same, week after week? Or the menu was the same week after week and extras were an extra charge? Would it bother me to use a shower that looked like a treatment room in the movie, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest? 

How about the place that had an information meeting for prospects and had little Snickers bars scattered on the tables? They had a draw and I won a hanging plant. Oh yeah. I liked that place. But we didn’t choose it. 

In the end, was it our personality or the community's personality? I don’t know. Whatever it was, it was unmeasurable. At some point, we decided just to just wade in where it was somehow appealing.  

How deep is the ocean? So far, I’m floating. Not quite a day at the beach, but close enough to make me happy. 

Carol Newman is a former freelance writer for newspapers and magazines. As a writing teacher and coach, she founded Angel in Your Inkwell. Her blog is now silent, but she is not.  She hopes now to write (sometimes humorously and sometimes seriously) about being an ordinary elderly person. No weight lifting, no tango contests, no marathons. Carol lives in Leawood, Kansas with husband, Tom.

Filed Under: Carol Newman, True Words from Real Women

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