• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Connect
  • Donate
  • Join
  • Login
Story Circle Network Logo

Story Circle

by, for, and about women

  • Home
  • Events
    • Spain Writing Trip
    • Members in the News
    • Opportunities
  • Classes
    • Online Classes
    • Webinars
    • Enroll
    • Propose a Class
    • Propose a Webinar
  • Book Reviews
    • Story Circle Book Reviews
    • For Authors & Publishers
    • Author Interviews
    • For Reviewers
    • Review Team
  • Publications
    • SCN Journal
    • Our Substack
      • True Words from Real Women
      • StoryCraft: Writers Write About Writing
      • Submit a post
    • Real Women Write anthology
      • 2024 Anthology
    • Member Library
    • Story Circle Books
    • Flash newsletter
  • Book Awards
    • Sarton & Gilda
    • Guidelines
    • Sarton Application
    • Gilda Application
    • Past SCN Book Award Winners
  • Contests
    • The Story Circle LifeWriting Competition
    • The Story CIrcle Poetry Competition
    • The Story Circle Online Writing Competition
  • Resources
    • Circles Program
    • Roundtables
    • Opportunities
    • Member Library
    • Media
  • About
    • About SCN
    • Member Benefits

February 11 – Growing Pains of Grandparenthood

February 11, 2019 by Kali 5 Comments

by Ariela Zucker

My daughter asks if my husband and I can babysit for her for a few hours while she and her husband participate in a class for parents who have behavioral issues with their toddlers.

In the past I would say;

“Why do you need a class, an outsider, to give you a piece of advice when here, in front of you stand two people who raised you and your three sisters with decent results.”

In the past, I would offer my opinion.  As a savvy educator, and a parent I would give a detailed lecture on what will work and what will not; accompanied by true-life examples;

“Remember how your youngest sister used to cry all the time?”

“And how your older sister never went to bed without resisting it for hours?”

“And how your gramma, my mother, got me to stay in bed on Saturday mornings by leaving sweet surprises?” this one she remembers but nods her head in disagreement.

Wiser with the years I know better. I just smile and say, “Sure, no problem, whatever you need.”

From the corner of my eye, I can see how my husband looks at me and winks. We finally got it, he says without words. If we want to stay part of our grandchildren lives it will not be in the role of a sage, but that of the sitter.

The readers may raise an eyebrow with surprise or perhaps disagreement. Grandparenthood so I learned on the know-it-all net is nothing but a bundle of joy. It is life fulfilling, it’s a unique, sweet connection, it is everything we were not as parents. In other words, it is a second chance to do it ‘right,’ now that we are older and wiser and have a lot of free time.

When I reflect on my frequent conversations with my friends most of whom grandparents themselves, I realize that here again, I am witnessing a marketing ploy of a product that is not real, a bit like the golden haze around the final stage of life – the golden years of our retirement.

I have no qualms about my years as a full-time parent. In fact, I am still a parent only now my children are adults who are themselves, parents. They matured into ‘know it all’ contemporary, Facebook-style parents. This change makes me almost overnight – a relic.

It took me some time to understand that what I once considered true and trusted ways of parenthood are looked upon as old and useless, even though the proof of their success is standing right in front of me holding their own children.

Ariela Zucker was born in Israel. She and her husband left sixteen years ago and now reside in Ellsworth Maine where they run a Mom and Pop motel. This post originally appeared on her blog at Paper Dragon.

Kalí Rourke is a full-time philanthropist and volunteer in the Austin, Texas area and has lent her writing, public speaking, and social media skills to many local nonprofits, including Story Circle Network. She is a wife, mom, "Gigi" to her awesome grandkids, a professional singer, and an advocate for mentoring in all of its forms. 

Filed Under: Ariela Zucker, True Words from Real Women Tagged With: aging, family, Grandchildren, Grandparents, Reflection, Relationships, Wisdom, Women's Stories

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Letishia says

    February 11, 2019 at 8:55 am

    So true.

    Letty After nourishment, shelter, and companionship, STORIES are the thing we need most.

    Reply
  2. sara etgen-baker says

    February 11, 2019 at 2:17 pm

    thanks for sharing, Ariela. I, too, had to come to grips with grandparenting but on my stepdaughter’s terms. Always a bit of challenge to accept a reality other than the one I want.

    Reply
  3. Mary Jo Doig says

    February 11, 2019 at 8:44 pm

    Absolutely beautiful and filled with such deep-won wisdom, Ariela! I’m not sure I’ll ever be a grandmother, but I have learned to support my kids right where they are. Thank You!

    Reply
  4. V.J. Knutson says

    February 11, 2019 at 10:43 pm

    Good wisdom, Ariela. The treasure of grand parenting is definitely worth biting our tongue.

    Reply
  5. arielazucker says

    February 12, 2019 at 2:06 pm

    Thanks you all for the kind feedback.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

hoye-orig

This blog is coordinated by author, photographer, and gardener Linda Hoye. Find her at A Slice of Life.

Subscribe

Get new posts in your inbox!
Loading

Archives

2009-2019 Archives

This blog is written by Story Circle members.


Not a member? Go here to join.

Contributors

  • Amber Lea Starfire
    • February 1 - What Happens When You Write 20 Minutes a Day?
  • Ariela Zucker - View Blog
    • To Walk With Stability
    • Not Doing is a Form of Doing
  • Carol Newman
    • June 26 - Cascade
    • June 5 - Trains, Planes, and Automobiles
  • blatter.carol
    • I Met Nurse Ratched
    • November 8 - My Mother
  • Barbara Scott - View Blog
    • February 12 - LOL Before Divorce
  • christinamwells - View Blog
    • May 31 - The Hairbrush
  • Christine Hassing - View Blog
    • December 20 - Opening
  • Carrie Steckl - View Blog
    • April 4 - Let’s Love the Good in Others
    • Five Minutes on Sundays
  • debradolan1958
    • Wedding Dress Whim
    • March 13 - Museum of Broken Relationships
  • Diane
    • Walking Through Fear
  • Doris Clark - View Blog
    • May 24 - Dad's Home Again
  • Dorothy Preston - View Blog
    • December 6 - The Rutted Path
    • August 23 - Ghosts of Rejection
  • Lisa Droz - View Blog
    • July 27 - The Seat Next to Me
    • June 29 - Pay Dirt
  • Girly
    • November 2 - A Morning
  • Heidi Schwab-Wilhelmi
    • November 22 - Piano Days
  • Judy - View Blog
    • December 12 - Numb and Puzzling Grief
  • Jeanne Guy - View Blog
    • July 20 - Under Water
  • Jeanette
    • A Clouded Mind
  • Janice Airhart - View Blog
    • October 19 - The Broadmoor
  • Joanne Martin
    • April 12 - The Last Time
    • November 2 - Helping Hands
  • JSchecterZeeb
    • D-Day June 6, 1944
  • Kali - View Blog
    • March 29 - When Life Hands You . . .
    • May 10 - A Newfound Friend
  • B. Lynn Goodwin - View Blog
    • August 3 - Notes From an Exceptional Terrier
  • Linda Hoye - View Blog
    • We've Moved
    • September 12 - Just Lily and Me
  • Len Leatherwood
    • July 6 - Love, Color, and a Bit of Surprise
  • LWatt - View Blog
    • October 18 - In-Between
    • January 31 - Hail Oh, Hail
  • Marian Beaman - View Blog
    • You Found Your Glasses Where?
    • June 14 - Right Thing Too Late
  • Marilea Rabasa - View Blog
    • Walking Through Cancer - Part 13
    • Walking Through Cancer - Part 12
  • marthaslavin - View Blog
    • December 30 - Unfinished Year 2020
  • Michele Kwasniewski
    • November 29 - Hanging With The Big Dogs
    • May 6 - Happy Birthday, Mom
  • Melanie
    • May 18 - Infusing Hope
  • Monique - View Blog
    • February 7 - The Answer
  • Nancy Oelklaus - View Blog
    • September 6 - Life Goes On
  • Lisa Hacker
    • August 30 -The Great Book Purge
  • repak.t
    • Switching Creative Gears
  • Sara Etgen-Baker
    • Talking Aprons
    • You Had Me At Pumpkin Spice
  • simonandrea - View Blog
    • February 22 - Words Are My Life
  • srick18153 - View Blog
    • April 2 - Sarah and Wally Go to Space Camp
  • Story Circle Network - View Blog
    • April 19 - My Mother's Kitchen
  • Suzanne Adam - View Blog
    • July 13 - COVID Roller Coaster
  • suzy beal
    • April 26 - The Culling Year
    • January 18 - Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice
  • Wentlin
    • August 24 - Uncommon
    • July 6 - An Exercise in Being Human

Footer

Subscribe to our Substack

Her Stories: Writing Craft & Community

Story Circle Network Logo
  • Home
  • About
  • Classes
  • Publications
  • Book Reviews
  • Growing Together
  • Connect
  • Donate
  • Join
  • Login

Copyright 1997 - 2025  Story Circle Network, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy