• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Connect
  • Donate
  • Join
  • Login
Story Circle Network Logo

Story Circle

by, for, and about women

  • Home
  • Events
    • Spain Writing Trip
    • Members in the News
    • Opportunities
  • Classes
    • Online Classes
    • Webinars
    • Enroll
    • Propose a Class
    • Propose a Webinar
  • Book Reviews
    • Story Circle Book Reviews
    • For Authors & Publishers
    • Author Interviews
    • For Reviewers
    • Review Team
  • Publications
    • SCN Journal
    • Our Substack
      • True Words from Real Women
      • StoryCraft: Writers Write About Writing
      • Submit a post
    • Real Women Write anthology
      • 2024 Anthology
    • Member Library
    • Story Circle Books
    • Flash newsletter
  • Book Awards
    • Sarton & Gilda
    • Guidelines
    • Sarton Application
    • Gilda Application
    • Past SCN Book Award Winners
  • Contests
    • The Story Circle LifeWriting Competition
    • The Story CIrcle Poetry Competition
    • The Story Circle Online Writing Competition
  • Resources
    • Circles Program
    • Roundtables
    • Opportunities
    • Member Library
    • Media
  • About
    • About SCN
    • Member Benefits

Endings as Prologue to New Beginnings

March 27, 2021 by kathrynhaueisen@gmail.com

I could see my husband was depressed. I didn't realize I was the source of his unhappiness. We were adjusting to the empty-nest phase of life as our recently-married daughters were increasing the family at a rate of six babies in five years. Hoping counseling would help, I faithfully met my husband at the counselor's office every week, until he dropped out. I stayed and finally admitted defeat when the counselor asked, "Do you want to be married to someone who doesn't want to be married to you?" 

No; but I so desperately wanted him to want to be married to me as much as I still wanted to be married to him. I journaled my way through the first couple of years, pouring out my shock, despair, disbelief, fury, and terror worrying about what would become of me. 

Then came a chance to housesit for friends for a few weeks. I had many empty hours to myself and a pile of journals. I wondered if I could write fiction after years of writing non-fiction. I wrote Asunder, a novel about starting again in middle age, and discovered I love writing fiction. I wrote a happy ending and added a study guide about shifting attitudes toward marriage - and divorce - in the modern age. I searched for an agent and/or publisher. Finding neither, a friend who was self-publishing his own book, helped me publish Asunder. It got great reviews, but few sales. The remaining copies are in boxes in my garage. I'm searching for a place to donate them to help others reeling from a mid-life divorce.

The experience of writing a fictional account of becoming suddenly single again in mid-life opened new doors. It was good therapy to write it. I often felt helpless and cornered going through the divorce, but on the pages of the manuscript, I had control over what happened. I found a large sisterhood of women who were also divorced. Many women, and a few men, resonated with the book. So did people whose spouses had died.

The experience taught me two lessons. I can write fiction. I recently published a historical novel about the Mayflower voyage and first encounters between Indigenous people and English settlers. I discovered there are many paths to publication. With sufficient time, patience, and persistence I can pull together a team to help me tell - and sell - my story.

Though I still regret the divorce, I am grateful I was able to plow through the grief to write a book that helped me, and I believe others, recover. Writing Asunder gave me the confidence to write Mayflower Chronicles: The Tale of Two Cultures. The new book has sold more copies in a few months than Asunder sold over the past four years.

During the divorce, I felt like the best years of my life had ended. Researching and writing the current book has expanded my world in ways I never could have imagined.  

My books cover life's little and not-so-little challenges including relocation, natural disaster, changing marital status, and the tragedies and triumphs of the people we call the Pilgrims. I blog regularly to promote good people doing great things and publish articles and books when I can. Published books: Married & Mobile, A Ready Hope, 40-Day Journey with Kathleen Norris, Asunder, Mayflower Chronicles: The Tale of Two Cultures and Mary Brewster's Love Life: Matriarch of the Mayflower. More information at HowWiseThen.com. 

Filed Under: Kathryn Haueisen, StoryCraft: Writers Write About Writing

Primary Sidebar

JudeWalsh

This blog is coordinated by author Jude Walsh.

Subscribe

Get new posts in your inbox!
Loading

Archives

2009-2019 Archives

This blog is written by Story Circle members.


Not a member? Go here to join.

Contributors

  • Ariela Zucker - View Blog
    • Using Photographs to Enhance Writing
  • Cynthia F Davidson - View Blog
    • Would I, Could I, Should I Write a Memoir?
  • Debra Thomas
    • The Better Story: Why I Prefer Fiction
  • Ellen Notbohm - View Blog
    • Writer, Get Out of Your Own Way
    • Why Not Me?
  • Fran Hawthorne - View Blog
    • I'm Listening
    • Can a Journalist Really Write Fiction?
  • Francesca Aniballi - View Blog
    • Journaling into Winter and the New Year
  • Gerry Wilson - View Blog
    • When Life Gets in the Way
    • Tough Story Love—How to Receive It
  • Linda Maria Steele
    • How Visual Images Can Shape Us as Writers
  • JSchecterZeeb
    • A Fishing Expedition
  • Jude Walsh
    • We've Moved!
    • Publishing Opportunities
  • Kali - View Blog
    • August 1 - Why I Love Story Circle Network
    • May 31 - Fiction vs. Memoir: Finally I Made The Choice
  • kathrynhaueisen - View Blog
    • Endings as Prologue to New Beginnings
  • B. Lynn Goodwin - View Blog
    • Trouble Getting Words on the Page?
    • Crawl Inside Your Character's Head
  • Linda Wisniewski - View Blog
    • The Space Between Stories
  • Len Leatherwood
    • The Beauty of Revision
    • Interview with Dinty W. Moore On Flash Nonfiction
  • madeline40 - View Blog
    • What It Takes to Write a Book
  • Marilea Rabasa - View Blog
    • My Life As Pentimento
    • Spelunking
  • Claire Butler
    • E-Circle-Six
    • Lovin’ Story Circle Network
  • simonandrea - View Blog
    • Here's the Story of Lovely Ladies
    • Severe Behavior Problems
  • Story Circle Network - View Blog
    • Someday, I'll Write
    • Wisdom from Brenda Ueland on Writing & Creativity
  • Sarah White - View Blog
    • Three Writing Prompts to Make You a "Writer in Residence" This Summer

Footer

Subscribe to our Substack

Her Stories: Writing Craft & Community

Story Circle Network Logo
  • Home
  • About
  • Classes
  • Publications
  • Book Reviews
  • Growing Together
  • Connect
  • Donate
  • Join
  • Login

Copyright 1997 - 2025  Story Circle Network, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy