by Ariela Zucker
Early in the morning, when the first rays of light struggle to rise above the trees in the backyard, I remember our exchanges in front of the computer and a big wave of sadness washes over me.
A habit of many years, I send my hand, to pat her soft white fur, then I remember that she is no longer here and my hand freezes in mid-air.
She was my writing companion; I can’t imagine writing without her by my side.
I smile when I remember our morning routine. Me, serious and driven, pouring my ‘oh, so important thoughts’ onto the computer. She, just as motivated, walking back and forth stepping gently on the keyboard and sending herds of letters scrambling on the screen mingling with my orderly sentences.
I used to get mad.
Then I tried to work around her, realizing as I was doing it how pathetic it might look to any bystander. Attempting to get to the keys by sending my hand under her belly, or looking at the screen above her ears. Just as I found a somewhat workable position, and typed few lines, she would move and graciously send a paw or a tail and brush it all away. In the end I would give up. I’d laugh and pet her on the head "you are right, I am taking myself way too seriously."
I would sweep the clamps of hair from my shirt, phoo away some more fine hair stuck to my face, and lean back. She would stretch slowly, yawn, get up and walk away to curl in the sunny spot on the couch.
Distracted and restless, I stand up. Outside the backyard is covered with dry brown leaves. I can see the small heap of stones marking her grave under the old oak tree. I know they are not meant to be with us forever, but this does not take away from her absence by my side.
Ariela Zucker was born in Israel. She and her husband left sixteen years ago and now reside Ellsworth Maine where they run a Mom and Pop motel. She blogs at https://papredragon2017.blogspot.ca/
This piece was originally published on Ariela's blog, Paper Dragon at https://papredragon2017.blogspot.ca/2017/11/writingcompanion-early-in-morning-when.html.
Debra Dolan says
What a loving tribute. A nice ending that you can stand and view her resting place as you wrestle with the writing and of loss. I think it was also very effective that you never revealed her name; keeping that to yourself. Even her face was not shown. Kind regards.
Ariela says
Thanks for reading and responding.
A beautiful story that I can relate to so well. All my life, I have dogs and cats as best friends. To lose one leaves such a void. Thank goodness for our memories. Thanks for sharing.
So real. So sweet. ❤️
It feels good to see that people read my words and share my feelings.