Untethered

Talk about being untethered—merely reading Deborah L. Staunton’s memoir Untethered is enough to rattle the most mentally stable. This terse, poignant, sorrowful-tinged mix of prose and poetry tugs at your heart, achingly, for the protagonist. It’s a slim book—only 67 pages—but packed with heaviness, inner turmoil, a longing for normalcy, a need for relief and release, and wistful hope.

Staunton grew up in a dysfunctional environment, with a mentally ill alcoholic father prone to violence, profane speech, and constant suicidal ideation frequently acted out. Staunton poetically describes him as “this man-boy who will be my father leans in, searching for a savior.” To buffer her from serious harm, Staunton relied on her staunchly patient yet nonconfrontational mother. They form an unbreakable bond, united with suffering tempered with endurance—what some would call mettle. But even as a child, Staunton found herself taking on the mature role of protector of both her mother and her little timid brother. This put a big responsibility on the author’s young shoulders, and as is the case with many children of alcoholics, Staunton was forced to grow up quickly, confronting an adult world that was periodically and persistently harsh.

Staunton takes her readers on an emotional yet mental journey of an adolescent and then adult coping with a mentally ill alcoholic parent and its after-effects that linger into adulthood. The overall effect is one of feeling untethered, disconnected from family and even herself. She also addresses the harrowing disappointment and pain of multiple miscarriages, the emptiness of her womb feeling like a flaw. After eventually giving birth to her daughter, it later becomes apparent that her daughter inherited the same delusional mental illness as her father, causing more family trauma.

Staunton’s prose style reads melodiously as poetry itself. She writes, “I am the daughter who surrendered her childhood to her father’s anguished tears, whose wisdom arrived on a derailed train, draped in a liquor-drenched coat, dragging a suitcase of delusions in cellophane.” And later, “Dad’s speech is a burst of slurred ugliness…” Simple words convey the world of unrectified chaos the author finds herself in, even as a child.

As melodious as Staunton’s prose is, her interjected poetry throughout this slim memoir provides additional insight into her mindset as she copes with each dilemma presented throughout. Her poetry resonates on a deeper level, cutting to the gristle of the way mental illness wears on a soul—both of the victim and their closest loved ones. Generations become victims, producing individuals untethered to reality.

Staunton chose to tell her large story in a small format. This makes it all the more powerful. Her memoir is a brave confessional, poetically relayed, delving deep into the mindsets of the mentally ill, while longing for normalcy in a shattered environment. To understand the impact of mental illness, this is one worthy read.