The Perils of Girlhood

‎Melissa Fraterrigo’s essays will seem emotionally familiar to many women, whether gently jabbing at social inequalities or uncovering painful truths for people navigating such circumstances while raising daughters in modern society. She skillfully illustrates the low-frequency alert system women develop from the very moment they try out their wings in a wider world, some even before that. Readers will remember that these are Fraterrigo’s stories, but they are my stories and your stories as well. Many inherently know these universal circumstances that reflect on the unfortunate oppression of women. Not much has changed, unfortunately.

The collection begins with the story of swim coach Matt, a handsome, college-aged young man who presses his body upon our fourteen-year-old narrator in a swimming pool after lessons in a sudden act of unwarranted sexual excitement. Melissa is both confused and titillated. She doesn’t tell anyone about this encounter until years later when she recounts the incident to her best friend. Many times the moment returned to her consciousness. Such is often the case with these sorts of things.

“With each bike ride, I began to sense something new about myself…men might find me attractive. Boys in my class, not so much, but strangers…saw something in me. I felt the burbling of this power inside me…for someone who had longed to be good at something, I glimpsed that perhaps I had finally found it.” The author skillfully seizes upon the sentiments in a blossoming young girl’s life when she begins to walk a precarious tightrope toward becoming an important part of her community while pondering who she is.

Later, as a college instructor, Fraterrigo successfully confronts a disrespectful student who tells the class, “I can make her blush.” She can make him walk, and she reminds him not to interrupt her class again. Her life’s lessons do not fail her as an adult. As a mother, she listens intently in the car after social events at what her daughters talk about. One time it was about a “creepy guy who kept talking to them.” Her radar is acute because she knows, and she ponders if, how, and when she might jump into such conversations.

Twenty stories comprise this collection and include titles such as “More Like Dad,” “The Elements of Fiction,” “The Facts of Life,” and “My Body, My Shame” to name a few. All fuse together in an enjoyable, fast moving memoir that is sure to keep readers’ attention. Fraterrigo’s writing style is direct, evocative, and filled with references to memorabilia from her past. She mentions a Barbie Style Head for makeup and hairstyling practice, Doc Marten shoes, Nine Inch Nails, Barbie dolls, Ben Franklin’s store, the invention of Mace, Red Lobster restaurant, and Dua Lipa.

I highly recommend this book to all women interested in taking a journey that may cause them to ponder the inequality of the sexes and how this manifested itself over time in their own lives. Fraterrigo does an amazing job bringing her personal stories to our attention.