Drop: Making Great Decisions

According to Dr. Helen McKibben, a practicing psychotherapist, many contemporary treatment programs for those seeking clarity in decision-making or empowering themselves for success ignore an important component: our feelings. Most advise thinking before acting. This approach takes our focus off of uncomfortable situations by avoiding emotions, by systematically thinking through options, or by simply meditating. McKibben’s strategy, which she calls dropping to the blank screen—or drop, for short—encourages readers to welcome and explore their feelings, no matter how unpleasant. She states that our memories of past events help us to recognize physical reactions to stress and help us break patterns of making poor choices. “Permanent neuromuscular relief comes when people allow themselves to feel before they think,” she says.

Dropping to the blank screen is explained in detail in the book’s introduction and is followed in chapter one by four assignments to help readers experience how dropping can be helpful. McKibben also attempts to redefine the concept of self-esteem, which assists in reaching a satisfactory outcome. “Self-esteem isn’t whether you like yourself or not, but your ability to make decisions by listening to your own feelings, thoughts, and ideas rather than someone else’s,” she suggests. The primary benefit of McKibben’s method is allowing a person to return to a neutral position, both physically and emotionally. Once emotions are acknowledged and accepted, it’s possible to make a more beneficial decision, with assurance that one’s preferences are truly honored.

Most of the chapters outline various situations that often cause stress and describe methods for addressing them. These include managing substance abuse, disordered eating, getting better sleep, and dealing with difficult people, among others. In several of the chapters, McKibben presents interviews and role-play scenarios with individuals who practice using the drop technique to help readers visualize dropping in action.

This book can be helpful for those who get stuck in repeating loops, making the same poor choices in partners or work situations, for example. Readers can go directly to chapters that present situations they’re dealing with currently, refer again to the description of dropping to the blank screen, or review the assignments as often as needed. Because some circumstances call for quick decision-making, McKibben’s advice is to prepare for those situations in advance—perhaps repeatedly—by dropping at each stage of planning for an occasion or performance that may cause stress. Doing so beforehand allows a much faster, though still favorable, result. It also allows the brain to record memories of good decisions that can be useful the next time it’s called upon to respond.

Dr. McKibben recognizes that utilizing her technique requires practice and encourages readers to work through challenging situations by dropping frequently enough to learn to trust themselves and build genuine self-esteem. Through her clear and well-organized guide, readers can retrain their brains to make choices that bring greater satisfaction.