• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Connect
  • Donate
  • Join
  • Login
Story Circle Network Logo

Story Circle

by, for, and about women

  • Home
  • Events
    • Spain Writing Trip
    • Members in the News
    • Opportunities
  • Classes
    • Online Classes
    • Webinars
    • Enroll
    • Propose a Class
    • Propose a Webinar
  • Book Reviews
    • Story Circle Book Reviews
    • For Authors & Publishers
    • Author Interviews
    • For Reviewers
    • Review Team
  • Publications
    • SCN Journal
    • Our Substack
      • True Words from Real Women
      • StoryCraft: Writers Write About Writing
      • Submit a post
    • Real Women Write anthology
      • 2024 Anthology
    • Member Library
    • Story Circle Books
    • Flash newsletter
  • Book Awards
    • Sarton & Gilda
    • Guidelines
    • Sarton Application
    • Gilda Application
    • Past SCN Book Award Winners
  • Contests
    • The Story Circle LifeWriting Competition
    • The Story CIrcle Poetry Competition
    • The Story Circle Online Writing Competition
  • Resources
    • Circles Program
    • Roundtables
    • Opportunities
    • Member Library
    • Media
  • About
    • About SCN
    • Member Benefits

April 27 – Mindless Retreat

April 27, 2020 by Linda Hoye 5 Comments

by Debra Dolan

Sitting at the back of the bus reading The World Has Changed: Conversations with Alice Walker, little did I know that my mine was about to in significant ways.  I saw nothing and it all happened so quickly. Passengers informed after impact that my head hit hard against the exit barrier as the driver stopped suddenly to avert collision with a truck.

It is so difficult to explain "foggy brain" and the feeling of "not being right". It all started so slowly; the erosion piece-by-piece of a simple and uncomplicated life filled with interesting activities and people, Saturday morning breakfasts on "the drive" with friends, volunteering as Strata Council President, walking 185 stairs from the street entrance to the office doors upon arrival, noon hour jaunts in a vibrant downtown core, participating with my writing group and book club, attending weekly Weight Watchers meetings, date nights with my darling, and a dedicated 90 minute morning practice of reading and sharing thoughts in a trusted journal.

One by one, each week, something left my life until I realized that all my personal time was spent recovering from one day in the office till the next. Evenings and weekends were spent in seclusion due to the challenges of noise, irritability, crowds and light. I struggled to hide my diminished abilities and raw emotions. Once I could no longer work I had to surrender fully to acknowledging the situation. Acceptance took much longer. Today is the day I transition from sick leave to long-term disability benefits.

As I continue to recover from post-concussion syndrome and whiplash injuries, I find myself remaining on a retreat in my own home and neighbourhood. Unlike the many I have participated in where you search for mindfulness, and think of the present in appreciation, this one finds me journeying into mindlessness where it is best to remain empty-headed so not to provoke yet another headache.

Resting the brain in order for it to restore and heal is an extremely task. I am encouraged to be in nature, meditate, take long hot baths, sit quiet in soft light while doing home-rehab program, all with the intention to gradually return cognitive, physical and social activities into routine. There is little joy as pain dominates. Concussions and their consequences are nasty business.

It is very difficult to have so much time and not the energy, focus or ability to engage in life's many offerings. I am learning once again that life is full of messy circumstances which encourage patience and understanding from us and others. In my personal haven I complete a ritual of silence, stillness and rehabilitation aimed at reconnecting to wellness. One of the most frustrating elements of concussion recovery is how fast the days pass when you do nothing and have nothing to show for them. As the days drift you can't help but feel adrift. I feel worn out by living with an intense tension of not knowing when my beloved life will come back.

Debra Dolan lives on the west coast of Canada, a long time (45+ years) private journal writer, and an avid reader of women's memoir. A member of SCN since 2009.

Linda Hoye lives in her hometown in Saskatchewan, Canada, with her husband and their doted-upon Yorkshire Terrier. She is the author of The Presence of Absence: A Story About Busyness, Brokenness, and Being Beloved and Two Hearts: An Adoptee’s Journey Through Grief to Gratitude and Living Liminal: A Slice of Pandemic Life. Find her online at www.lindahoye.com where she ponders ordinary days and the thin places where faith intersects.

Filed Under: Debra Dolan, True Words from Real Women

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. woodscrone says

    April 27, 2016 at 9:50 am

    I can empathize as I have been dealing with retirement and for physical limitations and some depression not able to be as engaged with life as I once was

    Reply
  2. judyalter says

    April 27, 2016 at 6:04 pm

    I too can sympathize. Anxiety sometimes has kept me housebound over the years, and it’s not the way I want to live. The mobility issues of aging add to it, but I keep fighting to push the circle outward.

    Reply
  3. Marjorie Witt says

    April 27, 2016 at 6:28 pm

    Debra, thank you for sharing this powerful part of your retreat into recovery.

    Reply
  4. lgood67334 says

    April 27, 2016 at 11:36 pm

    Rest well and feel better soon.
    Writer Advice Managing Editor, http://www.writeradvice.com
    Author of YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT? Journaling for Caregivers & Author of TALENT
    blynngoodwin.com

    Reply
  5. Kim Pearson says

    July 13, 2016 at 9:26 am

    I am packing to go to BC to visit my sister (a plane ride I would have enjoyed in my old life) and just stumbled upon this article cut out for me by a friend – While I read, I couldn’t help but think…This is me!…Debra so eloquently described living with the after effects of concussion – I have had constant head pressure in varying degrees, for over 7 years as a result of multiple concussions – but I wanted to share, that my best medicines did not ever come in the form of “medication”. In addition to what Debra described, osteopathy, cranial sacral therapy and swimming (preferably for me, in a cool pool) have played a huge role in being able to cope with this new “me”. Music (although for the first several months, I couldn’t tolerate it), but eventually, singing in harmony with our singing group felt so very healing – mostly the soul. I can not stay for the socializing that follows. I am still exhausted after a practice, but the balance of keeping your soul healthy is so important. I hope this can help others who are struggling.(those who can tolerate looking at a computer screen – that is also difficult )

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

hoye-orig

This blog is coordinated by author, photographer, and gardener Linda Hoye. Find her at A Slice of Life.

Subscribe

Get new posts in your inbox!
Loading

Archives

2009-2019 Archives

This blog is written by Story Circle members.


Not a member? Go here to join.

Contributors

  • Amber Lea Starfire
    • February 1 - What Happens When You Write 20 Minutes a Day?
  • Ariela Zucker - View Blog
    • To Walk With Stability
    • Not Doing is a Form of Doing
  • Carol Newman
    • June 26 - Cascade
    • June 5 - Trains, Planes, and Automobiles
  • blatter.carol
    • I Met Nurse Ratched
    • November 8 - My Mother
  • Barbara Scott - View Blog
    • February 12 - LOL Before Divorce
  • christinamwells - View Blog
    • May 31 - The Hairbrush
  • Christine Hassing - View Blog
    • December 20 - Opening
  • Carrie Steckl - View Blog
    • April 4 - Let’s Love the Good in Others
    • Five Minutes on Sundays
  • debradolan1958
    • Wedding Dress Whim
    • March 13 - Museum of Broken Relationships
  • Diane
    • Walking Through Fear
  • Doris Clark - View Blog
    • May 24 - Dad's Home Again
  • Dorothy Preston - View Blog
    • December 6 - The Rutted Path
    • August 23 - Ghosts of Rejection
  • Lisa Droz - View Blog
    • July 27 - The Seat Next to Me
    • June 29 - Pay Dirt
  • Girly
    • November 2 - A Morning
  • Heidi Schwab-Wilhelmi
    • November 22 - Piano Days
  • Judy - View Blog
    • December 12 - Numb and Puzzling Grief
  • Jeanne Guy - View Blog
    • July 20 - Under Water
  • Jeanette
    • A Clouded Mind
  • Janice Airhart - View Blog
    • October 19 - The Broadmoor
  • Joanne Martin
    • April 12 - The Last Time
    • November 2 - Helping Hands
  • JSchecterZeeb
    • D-Day June 6, 1944
  • Kali - View Blog
    • March 29 - When Life Hands You . . .
    • May 10 - A Newfound Friend
  • B. Lynn Goodwin - View Blog
    • August 3 - Notes From an Exceptional Terrier
  • Linda Hoye - View Blog
    • We've Moved
    • September 12 - Just Lily and Me
  • Len Leatherwood
    • July 6 - Love, Color, and a Bit of Surprise
  • LWatt - View Blog
    • October 18 - In-Between
    • January 31 - Hail Oh, Hail
  • Marian Beaman - View Blog
    • You Found Your Glasses Where?
    • June 14 - Right Thing Too Late
  • Marilea Rabasa - View Blog
    • Walking Through Cancer - Part 13
    • Walking Through Cancer - Part 12
  • marthaslavin - View Blog
    • December 30 - Unfinished Year 2020
  • Michele Kwasniewski
    • November 29 - Hanging With The Big Dogs
    • May 6 - Happy Birthday, Mom
  • Melanie
    • May 18 - Infusing Hope
  • Monique - View Blog
    • February 7 - The Answer
  • Nancy Oelklaus - View Blog
    • September 6 - Life Goes On
  • Lisa Hacker
    • August 30 -The Great Book Purge
  • repak.t
    • Switching Creative Gears
  • Sara Etgen-Baker
    • Talking Aprons
    • You Had Me At Pumpkin Spice
  • simonandrea - View Blog
    • February 22 - Words Are My Life
  • srick18153 - View Blog
    • April 2 - Sarah and Wally Go to Space Camp
  • Story Circle Network - View Blog
    • April 19 - My Mother's Kitchen
  • Suzanne Adam - View Blog
    • July 13 - COVID Roller Coaster
  • suzy beal
    • April 26 - The Culling Year
    • January 18 - Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice
  • Wentlin
    • August 24 - Uncommon
    • July 6 - An Exercise in Being Human

Footer

Footer Example
Story Circle Network Logo
  • Home
  • About
  • Classes
  • Publications
  • Book Reviews
  • Growing Together
  • Connect
  • Donate
  • Join
  • Login

Copyright 1997 - 2025  Story Circle Network, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy