I went to work as usual. I went earlier than ususal because I wanted to go for my 1-mile walk that I do a couple of times a week. Since I don't turn on the TV in morning when I get dressed, I didn't know anything was going on. When I got to work, is when I saw people in the conference room watching a TV. My supevisor came and told me that a plane had hit the towers at the World Trade Center but at the time the story was still developing. I went for my walk. By the way did I mention I walk around the state capital and work on the 17th floor of a building that is only 1/2 a block away (if that). I walked around and saw some law enforcement vehicles but there is always that around there so it didn't seem unusual. It wasn't until I got back to work about 30 minutes later that I learned the seriousness of what had taken place and how devastating the damage was and then I saw on TV something that will be etched in my memory and it was the second plane hitting the second tower. It looked so surreal like some kind of special effect in a movie only this was real. It made my heart sink and feel heavy. The whole building I work has huge glass windows and I kept looking out, wondering what or who was out there. About an hour later we were told to leave because they were shutting down the building. I left and went home and told my mom she wasn't going to work today (she works for the state). As it turned out she didn't have to go, they closed all state and federal offices. I went to the church office and they were praying, I went to let them know I was ok since they know where I work. We prayed and I went back home. There was a prayer vigil later that evening but truthfully I just wanted to stay near my mom, I just wanted the security of knowing that she was still there. So we just stayed home glued to the TV. Afraid we would miss something if we stepped away. It is hard because as a Christian, I believe God is in control but I want to know why and I know I may never know that. There is a verse that says to "work out your salvation with fear trembling". Truer words were never spoken. How do I work this out in my own heart and head? I have no words to say that will make anything better. I still have faith but how can I share that with others when I can't explain why and without sounding cheesy and trite. It is all so frustrating and confusing. My deepest sympathy goes out to those whose loved ones have been lost.
Last updated: 09/12/01