A few days have gone by since the tragedy of 9/11/01.

We had my 11 year old daughter's birthday party tonight. It was a rollerskating party.. she has a boyfriend..he was there and they held hands while they were skating and he bought her a pretty necklace and they chated with their friends and laughed and danced and skated around and around to the music... they were very happy and content in their space and time in their little piece of the world.

I remember the first time I rollerskated and the first time I held a boyfriend's hand and it seemed like the most monumental of events.. I wonder if it was the same for her... I wished I could be in that moment again.. life so full of promise.. so fresh, new and exciting.

I wondered about them--both of them my daughter and son and where life will be taking them. When I was that age it was the 70's and the Vietnam war was over I believe. But at such a young age and being removed from immediate tragedy and pain, a child doesn't really have to suffer or worry.

I wonder.... will this change?? I know that other children in the world suffer from many different problems and have been for a long time.. the children starving in Ethiopia and the bombings in Romania (?not sure if that is the name), and young boys who are trained soldiers by the time they are 10 in Palestine and the women in other countries being enslaved as prostitutes or the oppression of women to the point where they are killed or kill themselves regularly in other countries.

This has been going on for almost ever.. Will it come to my door step?? Is New York too close?

I have despaired and been outraged before over these bad things. I have even become a psychotherapist and fancied myself as a warrior for the righteous causes.. But I feel beaten.. I feel that there is too much of it in too many places and the powers that be don't have to do the right things... they are too political and not really giving. The people who have so much and the power to make a difference-DON'T.

So yes I am confused as to what I should do and I feel hopeless and helpless and discouraged and weak and tired. I like the notion of being young and innocent and removed from it all...not to worry.