LifeWriters Talk About LifeWriting

Pat Flathouse is a member of the Story Circle Network Board and the coordinator of the Older Women's Legacy (OWL) Circle program, which brings writing groups to women over 60 in Austin TX and throughout the country. Pat keeps busy setting up new OWL-Circles (writing groups) in the Austin area, taking phone calls and answering email inquiries about the OWL-Circle program and the OWL-Circle workbooks, and attending SCN Board meetings. And although her position is a volunteer one, she has found that her work provides some unique rewards.

Story Circle Journal: How did you become involved in SCN and the OWL-Circle program?

Pat Flathouse: My initial involvement with the program was serendipitous. In the summer of 2000, I learned about Susan Albert's book, Writing from Life, and I went right to the store and bought that book. I read it and worked on the suggested writings from cover to cover. It was just what I needed at that time. I also saw that there was going to be a Writing from Life weekend soon, so I called my daughter-in-law Kara and told her that I thought she would like the workshop. She agreed to come from the Texas Panhandle to attend if I would go with her.

I met Catherine Cogburn at the workshop. We talked and finally she said, "Do I have a job for you!" Curious, I accepted an invitation to have lunch with Catherine, Susan Albert, and Peggy Moody the next Monday to discuss this job. I was being asked to coordinate the Austin OWL-Circle Memoir Workshops and assist with the other ongoing OWL projects, on a volunteer basis.

At first I was not sure I could do the job but found it intriguing. It just seemed a perfect fit for where I was at that time. Soon I was immersed in learning about teaching older women to write their stories. I decided to enroll in an OWL-Circle myself to see what it was like to be in a group—a marvelous experience. It took me a while to learn all that had gone before in the development of the program, but soon I was sailing through the work and enjoying it immensely. I also enjoyed working with the OWL-Circle facilitators who actually lead the groups. Before long, Susan asked me to join the SCN Board and that has been most enjoyable, meeting such a marvelous group of women.

SCJ: Tell us about the path that brought you to this role.

PF: I began my teaching career at the Texas School for the Deaf and then moved into interpreting and tutoring young deaf children as I began my family. I stayed home with my four boys until all were in school. Then I became a director of religious education for a local parish and also did some consulting, teaching of adults, and work for the Diocese of Austin, while I earned my Masters Degree in Religious Studies.

Having three sons in college at one time led me back to teaching once more and I taught first grade for three years in Lubbock, where I became interested in counseling and working with families of at-risk children. While in Lubbock, I earned my doctorate in educational psychology and counseling (with a focus in stress management and wellness) and then began working as a school counselor part time while working with the Wellness Program for the school district, leading groups for stressed school administrators. I also taught a few courses at Texas Tech and other local colleges.

When we moved back to Austin, I decided to take some personal time and discern what my next adventure in life would be. I made some quilts, learned to do stained glass, did some woodcarving, and dug a pond in my backyard. Writing was not, and had never been, one of my "things" until I got hold of Writing from Life.

SCJ: What is the most valuable thing you have gained from your involvement with SCN?

PF: After going through Susan's book and attending the Writing from Life workshop, I was hooked on life-writing. Finally, I had found a way of writing that freed me to write my way. When I wrote my dissertation, I was often criticized for being "too chatty" in my writing and I struggled to conform to their way of writing. Now that I have found SCN, I know that my chatty writing is A-okay because it is my voice. My gift from SCN was discovering how to write without the schoolteacher critic sitting on my shoulder. I want to pass this wonderful gift on to other women my age.

SCJ: Tell us about some of the women who have been helped by OWL-Circles.

PF: One of the most exciting things about the program is to see women, who first told me that they cannot write, want to keep on writing when their five sessions are over. I have also seen women forming new friendships and making booklets for their families.

Last fall, a woman attended one of the OWL-Circles at the urging of her daughter. I believe this woman was probably in the early stages of Alzheimer’s and initially had a very difficult time with writing. She almost never shared her story and I could often see the confusion in her eyes when asked if she wanted to read. At first, she was not writing very much on her paper. However, about the third session she began to write and share almost every time. Her stories were wonderful and the group was very affirming. By the last session, this particular woman was writing very well and we were amazed at the improvement from the very first session. I think this is a perfect example of the benefits of writing for women who are aging and perhaps beginning to have memory problems.

SCJ: As I understand it, an OWL-Circle even helped one woman find peace in the final weeks of her life.

PF: That's right. Mildred attended my church and I knew her brother. She had Parkinson's Disease and was very limited in her ability to function in our OWL-Circle. However, her brother thought it would be good for her to be out with other women. He also wanted her to begin writing down some of the family stories. She required a great deal of help just writing out a two-to-three sentence story from the writing prompts. Mildred attended each of the five sessions of the OWL-Circle and went on from there to a women's retreat at the church, the next weekend. After the retreat, she seemed very happy.

When Mildred died a week later, her brother found materials from the women's retreat and her notes from her OWL-Circle writings by the chair where she had died. He told me she was very proud of her stories. He asked if we could prepare a booklet of the stories to be placed near the casket at her funeral for everyone to see. The family expressed such gratitude to us that we had taken the time to make room for Mildred in our OWL-Circle and to prepare the booklet of Mildred's stories. It was a very moving experience to have been involved in the last few weeks of Mildred's life.

SCJ: There's a natural synergy between OWL-Circles and faith communities like your own church. How would you explain this synergy?

PF: I believe that there are several things at work here. We, as a people of faith, thrive on the telling of stories. We learn about faith through story in Scripture, we tell our own faith stories, we examine where we are going through story, and in stories we discover our common faith journey. It is the same with the design of the OWL-Circles. We learn about our lives through writing and telling our stories, we share our stories with others in our group, we have the opportunity to examine where we have been through the telling of our stories, and we discover the common journey that we are on as women in the final third of our lives. That also helps us know where we are going.

The parish administrator at my church saw the OWL-Circle program as an excellent opportunity for ministry to a group of women who were not being served in other groups by the church and as a way to pull these women into the church and offer something for their benefit. It has worked so well and the word spreads all the time. Almost every week someone stops me and asks when the next OWL-Circle will be held. I have women stop me at the grocery store and ask to be put on the next list. OWL is becoming a familiar word in the parish.

It is also a wonderful bonding experience for women over 60. Often the women attend our church but do not all know each other when the group first begins. However, by the end of the five sessions they have become great friends, and they continue meeting and become a support for each other. One group that I was in had two new widows. They often shared stories about their changed lives and they are two regulars in the monthly sessions of the group that has continued to meet for two years.

SCJ: Tell us about the new workbook for OWL-Circle graduates, Your Life, Your Story.

PF: Over the past couple of years I have seen three needs connected with the OWL-Circle program. First, women want more writing experiences after attending the five OWL-Circle sessions. They always ask what they can do next. Second, some women cannot attend an OWL-Circle but want to begin writing. And third, some women just want to know what belonging to an OWL-Circle would be like. I began to see that writing a new OWL-Circle booklet with new writing experiences would be a nice way to meet all of these needs, so Catherine Cogburn and I sat down last summer and began planning a new booklet. In the spring, I put the finishing touches to the booklet. It's based on the OWL-Circle workbook but with all new materials, plus a sixth chapter that gives all kinds of ideas about writing. It was a very exciting project to work on and I learned a lot about putting such a book together and getting it printed, thanks to the wonderful support of Catherine and Susan Albert.

The success of this booklet has been beyond my wildest dreams! I have women buy one book and then come back and buy five more for their aunts, mothers, sisters, or daughters. Women are hungry for easy instructions on how to write their life stories.

SCJ: You are also working on your own writing project, I understand.

PF: I have long been interested in doing genealogy, but I quickly learned that genealogical information can be very sterile without the stories to flesh it out. I decided that I would create a book similar to the OWL-Circle workbook to help people begin to write their family history stories. This has been another interesting venture and, because of it, I became acquainted with Jackie Taylor, a Mormon missionary at the Family History Library in Salt Lake City. Jackie is now my best cheerleader and is giving me wonderful ideas in helping me with this book. She has also become a wonderful friend. I went to Salt Lake City recently and she spent two days reading, critiquing, and offering suggestions for the book. The rough draft of the book is complete now but I have a lot of tweaking to do before I am ready to let anyone else see it. I am excited to see what will happen with this book. Writing something like that is very hard for me, but I think the end result will be worth all the hard work.

SCJ: What are your hopes and aspirations for the OWL-Circle program for the future?

PF: I would like to see the program grow and become established in some other areas of Austin. I would also like to develop some other OWL-related activities that have been requested, such as a family history writing group, perhaps a spirituality group, and a stress management group. And I’d like to develop workbooks to meet those needs. I would also love to be involved in some research on the health benefits of using the OWL-Circle program with women experiencing memory and other health problems.

The success and popularity of the OWL-Circle program has been overwhelming as I look back over the two and a half years that I have been involved. The program is doing wonders to bring women over 60 together and to help them conquer their fears and insecurities about writing. Perhaps the greatest joy of this job is that I get to see the great happiness that writing stories brings to senior women, like Margaret Anne DeBarbrie and Mary Jane Crownover from my church! I have known these two gentle souls for 20 years. They are reviewing their life memories in our Continuing OWL group and I sincerely believe that this is bringing them great mental health benefits, along with the joy of writing.

This article was written by Assistant Editor of the Story Circle Journal, Jane Ross.

Last updated: 09/06/03