Life-Writer's Notebook

Practicing Truth-Telling
"The more I practice truth-telling, the easier it becomes," according to Angeles Arrien. Truth-telling is a prerequisite for every woman who wants to explore her life's story, but we often keep ourselves from telling the truth. Sometimes we don't tell the truth because it's not very pretty, or because the truth is painful (for ourselves or someone else), or because the truth may be frightening. Do you remember that old radio/TV show, Truth or Consequences? Each of us has had the experience of failing to tell the truth because we're worried about the consequences--losing face, losing friends, losing confidence.

But if you are keeping a journal or writing a memoir, the truthvcan be a powerful key to your story. If you're writing a memoir, here are two questions you might ask yourself:

• Where am I failing to tell the whole story? Why? Who am I trying to protect--myself, or someone else? (You may decide to leave something out of your story, but if you do, you owe it to yourself to know what it is and why you're omitting it.

• What would happen if I told the truth? What would change? How would I gain? What would I lose?

If you're keeping a journal, you might try this daily truth-telling practice:

• Every day in your journal, write down a lie that you've recently told to yourself or someone else. Why did you tell it? To whom? What did you gain or lose by telling the lie? How do you feel about it now?

• Every day in your journal, write down a truth that you haven't told yourself before. Record how you feel about it.

After you've done this for a week or so, ask yourself whether Angeles Arrien is right. Does truth-telling get easier the more often you do it? Or does it get harder? Are there some truths you're more willing to share with others? Are there some truths you'll always keep to yourself? Every now and then, revisit this exercise. Does the truth change, the longer you think about it?

Want more ideas for writing your life? Go to the Story Circle website and click on LifeStory Briefs.
--Susan Wittig Albert