Your Life Story
Your life story is peopled by a variety of family members, close friends, and acquaintances. Many of these real people have had an important influence for better (and sometimes for worse) on your life, and you will want to include them. Writing about our relationships with others helps us to understand them, and your readers-family and friends-will be interested in knowing about the people who have helped to make you who you are. Writing about other people isn't always easy, however. Here are some ideas that may help.
Your Cast of Characters
Your life is like a Broadway play-full of interesting characters, each one playing a major or minor role in your drama, and each one a star of his or her own drama. One way to begin writing about the people in your life is to create a cast of characters: a list of the people you have known or loved. You can make this list in the order of their appearance or in the order of their importance.
- In appearance order, your parents will probably come first, followed by other relatives and childhood friends, down to those who have appeared more recently in your life.
- In importance order, you will need to choose the people who have meant most to you, either in your life as a whole or at this moment.
When you've written down the names of the characters in your life, you will want to add a couple of lines of identification-or more, if that's appropriate. You might include a bit of anchoring biographical information as well as a couple of sentences about the facts of your relationship to this person.
Unforgettable Characters
You've heard people say: "She [or he] is quite a character." Usually, they mean that a certain person looks or acts in a distinctive or memorable way. In your life story, you'll want to create memorable characters-people who are as alive to your readers as they have been to you. To do this, consider the following questions:
- What made the person so significant to you? What did she do for you? How did he shape your life?
- What do you remember most about this person's physical presence? Appearance? Gestures, posture? Voice, speech style, or accent? Clothing? Special scent? Include as much specific detail as you can.
- What do you recall about this person's family and work background? Where did she come from? What did he do to earn a living? (You might want to do some research here.)
- What made this person unique as an individual? Did she believe in ghosts? Did he collect bottles or garden? Did she make quilts?
- What amusing or odd or interesting (or even tragic) anecdote do you remember about this person?
If you answer each of these questions in three or four sentences, you will quickly develop a complete character sketch, and that person who was so meaningful to you will come alive for your readers.
True Tales of Real People
One thing that always concerns memoirists is the question of truth and privacy. "How far can I go in revealing what I know about this person?"
If the person you are writing about has died, you will probably feel much more free to reveal personal details, especially eccentric or unpleasant ones. If s/he is still alive and is likely to read what you've written, you may feel the same constraints that you would if you were speaking to that person. Be truthful, of course, and acknowledge that this is your truth, not necessary the truth. And be respectful of the other person's right to privacy. If you have confidential or secret information about someone else, you'll want to think carefully before you commit it to paper. Perhaps you should ask the person's permission first-but you're the best judge of that.
These cautions aside, writing true tales about the real people in your life is doubly rewarding, both for you and for your readers.
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FROM FACT TO STORY
When we write about our lives, the facts of our relationships with people get turned into stories. The story itself may be true, but it will more fun to write and read if you develop it through the use of familiar fictional techniques.
Dialogue
In stories, people talk to one another, and important truths are revealed in dialogue. Can you include a conversation with your character? ("But I don't remember her exact words!" you'll say. Don't worry about being true to the letter-rather, be faithful to the spirit of your memory.)
Conflict
Stories are built around conflict-that's what makes them so interesting! Can you tell a story of a conflict you had with one or more of your important characters? How does the conflict illustrate your relationship? Did the conflict persist, or did you resolve it? What did the conflict teach you about yourself?
Setting
The setting of a story can reveal a great deal about character. Say that you're writing about your grandmother. What do you remember about her house? Where was it located? Was it large or small, simple or elegant? How was it furnished? Did it have a garden? What does this setting say about the person (your grandmother) who created it?
About LifeStory Briefs
LifeStory Briefs is a series of tip sheets to help women create their life stories. This number was written by
Susan Wittig Albert
for Story Circle Network Inc. For information about the series or the Network, contact us via email:
storycircle@storycircle.org
or phone:
512-454-9833
or write to:
Story Circle Network
P.O. Box 500127
Austin, TX 78750-0127
http://www.storycircle.org
© 1999 by Story Circle Network
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