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If, as Murdock says, we use memory to create our identities, then at last there's an explanation for why members of a single family will remember in radically different ways an event that affected them all...
Discussion Questions:
- Murdock makes clear that memories are not necessarily exact reflections of the past. "The job of writing memoir is to find one's truth, not to determine the accuracy of what happened." (Page 12) Have you recounted a personal memory, only to find someone else has a far different account of the same incident? How can both be "true"? (Also, Page 147)
- Early in the text, Murdock recalls a defining moment when her father responds to her request for help in drawing a tree, "You either have it, or you don't." Murdock goes on to say that the details of such defining moments "help us recognize the symbolic nature of the event." (Page 15) Is there an event in your life--at any time, child or adult--that is seared into your memory with exact detail?
- Clothing may become a metaphor for life. Murdock sees the binding constricting girdle as the symbol for her mother (Page 59, Pages 18, 19); a black-and-white nun's habit becomes the metaphor for herself. (Page 61) Is there a metaphor for your life, or one for a person near to you? (Not necessarily clothing, but it's a starting place.)
- On Page 97, Murdock speaks of "root memory as a remembrance of something familiar that arouses a glimmer of recognition." She goes on to describe the place that "provided a save haven where I didn't have to live up to anyone's expectations. The woods became a touchstone for me." Do you have a root memory or touchstone?
- Murdock concludes the first section by explaining that while she may never have come to truly know her mother, she "did come to appreciate her struggle and to love her." (Pages 107,108) Writing about our recollections of those near to us can help to bring such appreciation. Have you experienced this?
- A memoirist does not simply chronicle her life but, rather, "both tells the story and tries to make meaning of it." (Page 109) Have you ever received clarification of an event in your life as you wrote about it?
- "Writing a memoir is similar to sharing gossip; both stimulate recall. As we deepen the memory groove through the writing of an event, we find that the tale takes on new colors, textures and nuances." (Page 137)
- Have you found that writing about an event brings a deeper meaning and/or understanding?
- Has reading the memoirs of other women ever evoked some hidden memories of your own.
- Murdock suggests writing a memoir episode in the past tense, then rewriting the same episode in the present tense. She asks if the emotional response changes with the changing point of view. (Pages 144, 145) Take the time to follow this suggestion, and then share your experience and feelings both as you are writing and as you reread the episode.
Last updated: 01/31/05
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